What element causes a person to be suspicious? Most would probably say the Pian Yin 偏印 or Alternative Stamp or Indirect Resource to some schools of Bazi. Is this always true?
Beyond Pian Yin 偏印
Suspicion ruins a relationship whether it’s between a couple, partners, friends or even at work, just like this song.
If you have a strong suspicions character, be mindful that it’s alright to feel uncomfortable trying to be trusting. If your spouse has a strong suspicion, then life could be rather doubtful. Years gone by will slowly put a strain on the relationship.
Persons who displayed more suspicious jealousy experienced greater insecurity, greater anxiety attachment, greater avoidance attachment, greater chronic jealousy, and lower self-esteem. It could also be from the person’s past history of a broken marriage that propels them into being suspicious. Perhaps it was their parents or their previous marriage.
Not only is jealousy unpleasant to experience, but individuals, who are chronically jealous or suspicious, often misinterpret what is going on—taking what might be an innocent event and thinking about it in the worst way possible.
For example, if a boyfriend or girlfriend does not immediately return a phone call, a highly jealous individual will jump to a negative conclusion (my partner doesn’t love me or my partner is cheating).
Every time you call me and tell me we should meet tomorrow
I can’t help but think that you’re meeting someone else tonight – Elvis Presley
“We can’t go on together with suspicious minds, and we can’t build our dreams on suspicious minds.” Elvis Presley
However, there are many clues from the Bazi that indicates a person who is suspicion and not just based on the 10 Gods method. From the Bazi one can find a way how to better communicate with the suspicious person.
Using traditional BaZi method, we can identify ways or people who can assist the person. Hopefully, the person will see some improvements over time. But I am not going to blog about the technicalities here but rather give a summary based on some of the scenarios that I have encountered.
If the person is insecure, perhaps reassurance and building up his confidence may help.
If the person is suspicious due to his own nature of character, then this type may need more deeper diagnosis. If the nature is due to the reason he/she likes to keep things to heart, then person trying to open up his heart may help. However, if the reason of the character is due to the person guilt, then this could need a strong partner to accept the reality and slowly have to deal with that reality. If one can find a friend or family to support, then it is best to do so right from the beginning. Yes in Bazi, there are indication of a spouse playing truant.
If it is due to the person easily getting jealous, then perhaps some consistent actions to prove the intention is more effective than comforting words and in parallel keep them busy!
Of course the more serious ones may even need medical attention because if its not managed well early on, it can turn into a paranoia.
Sometimes at the end of the day, not all problems will have an immediate solution especially when it comes to the matter of life or destiny. So long we have done our level best, then it is perhaps accepting the outcome is the better solution and move on. At the end of the day, I believe every humans have only one desire in this live and that is to be Happy. Why stay on a relationship that doesn’t make you Happy???